Coming back to haunt you

I think that one of the greatest challenges we face in life is being honest with ourselves. 

We may be conscious of using some deception or attempts to influence the thoughts of other, but somehow we even go to great lengths to avoid the fact that we may be doing

the same to ourselves.

When my children were small, I always attempted to teach them what I believed would be helpful to them in their lives, although I may not have always realized that there was some variance between what I said and what I did.  You may remember the old saw: “Do as I say, not as I do.”

One of the things I frequently would say to my girls whenever they complained that some rule or outcome or event “wasn’t fair”, was “Who ever told you that life was fair?”, or as an alternative I’d say “Fare is what you pay to the bus driver.”

Recently I’ve moved from being an active worker into the realm of the retired, and as such, have felt that my life should be much more relaxed and free from obligations imposed by the needs and desires of others.

My wife, however, decided to take up employment where she was on call, and could be called at a pre-dawn hour to work.  On a couple of occasions I was awakened and asked to drive her to her place of employment, arising several hours before I would have otherwise.

On one of these times I found myself thinking: “This isn’t fair! Now that I’m retired, why should I have to ‘work’ too, just so my wife could work”?

Then, as I was searching for the answer to that question, I recalled what I had attempted to instil into my children … now I have to decide:  Do I live by my own teachings, or do I decide that I’d been wrong all that time?

Technorati Tags: teachings,honesty,values

Respect and Authority

This morning I was thinking about respect for authority and wondering if there is more, or less respect for authority than there used to be.

In my case, I think I respect authority less than I used to, mainly because I've learned, over the years, to think for myself. Any authority that I do respect must earn my respect. I do not respect authority simply because they are --or are called-- authorities.

That being said, I do not run around deliberately or flagrantly acting contrary to laws, or what the government authorities say I should do, there are other reasons that might make me act in a way that would make it appear that I do respect authority.

In the case of many laws and regulations, my reason to act in seeming conformity to them, may be simply because I feel that the complications to my life for not conforming are more than the benefit I might perceive from doing otherwise.

There is another aspect of my superficial respect for authority. I have a practice of treating most people with respect, because I respect them as people until they give me some reason to not respect them. So, I may be entirely polite and deferential to someone who might consider my actions as respect for their position where, in reality, I am simply giving them the benefit of the doubt because I don't really know them as a person.

Much of the turmoil we see in society around us these days is, I believe, due to the fact that people in positions of authority are confused with this relationship between authority and respect. The respect does not come from the authority, nor is there anything inherent in authority that leads to a person automatically respecting it.

Respect must be earned, authority can be given or taken by anyone for any good or bad reason. Much too often, authority is abused, and for that reason, people as they are more and more exposed to that abuse, tend to respect authority less. This can reach extremes where authority completely looses meaning.