Saturday, August 06, 2005

Three little words

It's amazing how just three little words can change your entire life in an instant!

For me those three words were "You have cancer . . .."

Although I had never denied the possibility that I would be faced with this diagnosis, I just never gave it a great deal of importance in my life. Then, one day, in trying to determine why I was experiencing a drop in my energy, the doctors I was consulting came out with that diagnosis.

It was a tremendous shock!

My world was turned upside down.

I didn't know what to do, even though I had thought about the possibility after my father passed away from cancer of the colon and decided that if I were ever given the same diagnosis as he had I would never submit to an operation and subsequent therapy; I would accept my fate and seek to live out the rest of my life as painlessly as possible.

You see, my father never really recovered from the initial operation. It was a downhill road for about 2 years from the moment he submitted to surgery. So much so that I became convinced that he would have lived just as long and possibly even longer had he not had the surgery.

But what to do now that I actually faced this in my life?

Well I consulted with the doctors. The surgeon my internist recommended told me that IF a person were to submit to the operation only 3 in 10 would be alive in five years. (I had asked what would be the probability of living 10 years, if I started on the treatment path). So, not only could he not answer my question, but the answer he gave me was not very encouraging. After all, in that five year period a substantial part would be convalesing from a major surgery quite probably followed by a long, painful and costly period of radiation or chemotherapy and then still only have a 30 percent chance of being alive.

So I made my determination. I will NOT submit to the knife. I have sought -- and am now undergoing a wholistic alternative treatment plan which is similiar to what can be found at

The point of this blog is not to convince others to take the route I have, but to comment on the profound effect that this development in my life has had on my daily activities.

Almost everything has taken a back-seat to my efforts to seek a solution to my dilema. That's not to say I have left the rest of my life to complete chance, but I can say that things that I might have given a high priority to completing, such as last year's tax return, have now fallen into the category where I'll get to it "sometime".

I was actively developing two web sites: and and both of these have become virtually stagnant over the past few weeks as I have devoted practically all my time and energy to 1) learning about the alternative treatments which might allow me to resolve my problem and 2) detaching myself completely from my normal routine to allow both my mind and body to rest and recuperate.

Other major projects which I had contemplated undertaking, such as a complete (and needed) update of the website for the retail business which I oversee ( and other plans which we have been developing for expanding this enterprize, have been put on the shelf and the business itself is nearly running on autopilot.

I haven't abandoned any of these, but these simply have not got the importance which I gave them a few weeks ago, and at this moment I don't feel the least bit guilty if any of these suffer or backslide because of my lack of dedication to them.

That's not to say that I will deny responsibility for the consequences, it's just that I feel comfortable in letting them go for awhile, and if necessary I will deal with them later -- when I am able.

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